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Written by chris

60 Second Newberg: Observation

Let’s talk about Ghosting…

 

Ever been ghosted? It’s super fun.  Ghosting is defined as the act or an instance of ending a romantic relationship by not responding to attempts to communicate by the other party. In other words, you disappear.

I have to be honest, I’ve never done it. I’m more a of a blocker deleter, but I at least let the person know what’s up first. I however, have been ghosted a ton.

Everyone knows dating sucks. And it does. “It’s like finding out that your girlfriend fucked a boy bander, but it wasn’t even someone good it was like someone in O Town or 98 Degrees. Yes, it sucks that much at times.

As a single guy in Los Angeles, I am presented with my share of meeting new people opportunities and I do my best to make the best of them. The bottom line is so many people just flake.  Here is one of my favorites.

I met a girl at a party and we hit it off and by hit it off I mean we talked all night, and then went home with each other and spend a lot of time not talking, but sounding out words and moaning til like 12 or 1 the next day. Translation: We fucked. It was that rare fun connection where we listened to music all night, laughed and just had fun. I think I even gave her a cool shirt as a gift. Imagine, sex so good, you needed to give a present. Wait, I just figured out marriage.  They should make a post sex shirt that says, “Hey thank you for all the sex, please take this concert Tee.”

The mistake I made was texting her the next day and thanking her and saying I’d like to get together on a proper date. I know, I’m an A Hole. Never heard from her again.  Okay… That’s a drag. Actually I did, but it was months later and the same thing happened. Lot’s of sex, but I didn’t make the mistake of calling her after because I knew that all I was to her was a hot steamy stack of mancakes. I KNEW. Then. Not ever in between. I thought I was horrible. All she had to do was fill me in, but she ghosted and of course ego beat my ass. Never again.

I understand if you’re not into someone, some people are a lot, plus it’s just easier.  But, it’s soooooo easy to say or text, “That was fun. But I’m like done and stuff.” So much better than torturing someone by making them wonder what they did wrong. When the reality is, it’s nothing (I don’t think) it’s just easier for some people to avoid it. Side note: Does that work with bills, food, responsibilities, and babies? Maybe I don’t know. Side note again: Have you seen my baby?

It’s happened to all of us and many of you have done it, because Dating sucks, but we are always going to do it. I’m always going to do it, because I love women. I think women and men know that they can get away with it consequence free and it’s why it will keep happening. It’s like when you go into a Mercedes dealership. The dealer can be an a hole, because he knows if you really want a Mercedes, you’re going to have to get it from them. If you don’t someone else will.

What’s my point? If you don’t like someone, cool, but don’t treat them like they’re dead. Ha. Even if it’s easy or more convenient and technically there really aren’t any consequences, it’s maybe the right thing to do.

Oh, and if you ghost people and that’s your jam, I wish you a wonderful life of happiness with loose skin, too many mirrors that remind you and cats that try and eat you when you’re sleeping.

I love your face

Go away. Come here.

Now Go away.

 

J Chris Newberg

@thechrisarmy